Deer Grandma Jean

Deer Grandma Jean,
I am very much looking forward to visiting you. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I will stop by and bring Daisy, you will tell me poems and I will try to play them. I don't have many of my own songs that are Grandma appropriate, and your poems are gems.
Then depending on our mood we can play scrabble, knit, or get something to eat. You can pick!
Then I'll ask you about special memories, and why you painted the house pink.
I really like the pink house and it means certain things to me , I wonder what it meant to you!
Have a great birthday
I love you ,
Natalie Jean

symbolisming

falafel breath

just got in from the craziest market next to my friend ragnar's apartment in gothenburg, it was an old army training grounds and now serves as a weekend market spot for vegetables and junk!

I arrived yesterday, I really enjoy trains, they are one of my favorite inventions.

Elin and Ragnar met me at the station and we went straight to my favorite vegetarian restaurant!Sooooooooo Happy! I might go there again tonight it is so cheap and glorious and i feel like i must research every flavour so I can start a restaurant just like it at home

Then we went to Liseberg an amusement park that turns very festive around christmas time, lights covering trees and little kiosks for cheese, nuts, sweets and meats and you can win a giant chocolate bar at the roulette table! I a a grinch but it was nice , until it really started raining a cold rain so i had to dance around to keep my feet warm. We met up with Karin and her wonderful friend Åsa had drinks at Ragnar's ...icelandic vodka very nice!

I like corners

Bi-Portrait
neat photos

Miss Communication

we've had a miscommunication
you must have got me all wrong
cause the way you are reacting
isn't what i had in mind

we've had a miscommunication
my words got twisted in some way
and what it is you heard
is not what i meant to say

i was trying to make things better
but I only made things worse
someone cover my mouth
don't let my hands write
every communication tactic i have is cursed

this song isn't about puppies
or a summer breeze on a winters day
it's about how you are missing
all the points i'm trying to make

i didn't mean that about your mother
i have never been your lovers lover
i'll watch what i say
you watch what you hear
then maybe we can see
what is sounding unclear

we've had a miscommunication
ask me and i'll tell you why
it's because your getting information
from another girl or another guy

we've had a miscommunication
i hope we can work it out
what's the use of communicating
if we miss what its about

* do you know what I'm trying to say?

Democracy & Desire

I did a last minute trip to Norrköping...I was back and forth with the staying or going...on account of not knowing if I had a place to stay and not having that much money...
But I woke up late and decided late, arrived late and went to bed late!!
It was worth every late minute!

I made my way in the dark to he museum where Jean Francois was at the entrance, he was so excited to see me and told me they had a place for me to stay, then he introduced me to everyone telling the story of how we met.

There were 9 artists displaying art, each was so different it was nice to see that. Jean Francois was so nice to tour me around and get the artists to tell me about their work ...his was amazing the written note is his it was the original titles for his pieces... he had a drawing of a red cat like person who he had seen in his room as a feverish child (desire), next he made a vertical horizon with the help of laser levels (nature ) and next he had a display where you had to move pieces around and add to it (work) ... the work display really made me feel like work does...do I have to??

Pauline Curnier Jardin delighted me with her video that she narrated along the way ...singing little made up songs... we are now friends...JOY
I was almost busting after her show with all that it meant to me...it was so silly but there were parts in the video (about a girl from France who moves to Finland alone) that were parts of my life here.....like when kids in a mask chase her around...this happened to me on Halloween!

After wine at the show some of us went dancing at some strange bars , we had the first dance floor to ourselves it was very interpretive!! So fun...we stayed with Andreas from Norrköpping and had a wonderful , stupendous brunch! Then I headed back to Jönköping, with some hungover transportation confusion... went straight to Karin's to watch Sideways (I can't believe I thought I liked that movie!) and Walk the Line (I can't believe I thought I wouldn't like that movie)
Woke up there on Sunday for another brunch care of Elin and her boyfriend Ragnar ....thin pancakes with assorted toppings sooooo nice!
I had an amazing weekend!

put your money where my mouth is

It is cold here, and there is some snow
I like to cold okay and snow ain't so bad
but i'm worried about the steep downhill slope to the bus stop
I only have boots with heels on them
I will look for a proper pair today at the thrift stores.

Not much on the ol' to do plate this week
some schoolwork...a book review gotta trace back to fourth grade for that
and I am going to have a rain adventure on Friday to see Jean-Francois's art opening
entitled "Private Parts" ....should be interesting....!

I got a job for the rest of my stay here!
Like most "jobs" in my life , I don't get paid
but i am going to help out my cafe lady during lunch (I should really ask her name!)
she will pay me with americanos and treats and lunch!
JOY!! That's gonna save me a nice lil' handful of money

Oh Karin and Elin just called to invite me over to play!

it's great to create!

I'm camping out at Karin's this weekend ! We are a creative army preparing our weapondry for the war against boredom. Armed with paint brushes, plaid fabric and thread and the battle cries of Patti Smith we are a strong troop!
Tummies full with rations of veggie pizza, medical supplies of banana chip/crunchy cereal/white chocolate being prepared we will be unstoppable!

my head is cold

Got myself a head cold, ye old sore throat sore head variety.
It pleases me though because now I have an excuse to sleep more, cure for cold...lots of sleep!
Sunday night I went to Karin's and we watched Dancer in the Dark , it made me cry and I very rarely shed a cinematic induced tear.
It's so funny the different "sighs" one makes after either watching a dreamy romantic movie or a dreary dark movie....
It was really beautiful though not too dreary, I found myself in a wonderful mood yesterday listening to the "music" that is happening everywhere, I woke up with the great idea to do a theater production of the movie, oh dear my ambitions are just getting a little out of hand, but i'm giving this one a 10 year happening period, so no rush!
Okay I gotta go to the library to do some reading because i don't want to buy my course books when they are readily available at yonder library.

I like november

Oh I spent the whole day in my apartment yesterday and didn't feel guilty at all, so nice.
It's a holiday weekend for celebrating the dead so nothing was open , no market for me!
I have been writing way too many song fragments and every attempt I have to finish any, I just end up with more fragments...but enjoyable nonetheless.
I have also been freestylin' these days...freestyle embroidery that is...I'm being subconsciously inspired by the wonderful Swedish needlework I see in the thrift shops...actually it's not subconscious if I know i'm being inspired by it ...right? oh dear...
finishing up books left and right, I read with a book in each hand, Last Unicorn so good, wrote beginning scene to the mythological movie while on a magical walk in the woods by my place
Read an interview with director David Lynch , whose last movie was shot on cheap digital cameras, very inspiring to see a major director accomplish something that I want to do ...paving the road
anyhoo I'm going to go for a walk about town , it is getting colder here but there are some milder days almost all the leaves have fallen but there are roses still out!

p.s. I don't really read with a book in each hand, someday though...someday

to read when you are meant to read

I'm currently reading Peter S.Beagle's The Last Unicorn, a book which I feel like I missed out on 10 years ago so good.
It is aiding to my mythological movie idea that I started researching half a year ago , which involves a unicorn , giant, and mermaid of modern times.
Here is the weird way in which my brain works, on the way to Paris I met Jean Francois we talked about dying in the sea, he told me to make a video that he would exhibit at one of his shows, entitled I Must Die in the Ocean.
Whilst in Paris in a cafe that Satre frequented (who I had read in the summer) I wrote the screenplay for the video , which will be the mermaid death scene to the mythological movie, I hadn't written anything on the movie since my initial research.
At the time I was reading Paulo Coleho short stories and watched the movie Frida directed by Julie Taymor. I kept falling asleep with the Coleho book in my arms and having very inspiring dreams, in his book he mentions many situations that revelations come in dreams. I instantly imagined another book of Coleho's "Eleven Minutes" as a feature film directed by Taymor. (I even wrote him a message to say so)
Last night I dreamt of Coco Chanel, and while looking on http://stilinberlin.blogspot.com/ there was a link to the Chanel web site, which I browsed and discovered Coco's love of the cameilla flower, which in mythology represents purity and radiance....and it is only those with a pure heart who can tame a unicorn.
I also looked on a bio site of Julie Taymor and read this:"Rather than following a conventional theater arts curriculum however, she earned a degree in folklore and mythology"
Needless to say , all of these factors lead me to be totally inspired to continue writing the screenplay! My favorite part of movies is the symbolism in the end product and in the research and discovery process.... now I just have to find a way to meet Julie Taymor!

moley moley mole

moleskin exhibition videos, i could watch these for days
watched roman holiday, now i want to cut off all my hair and go to italy...i always find films that don't have cliche happy-ever-after endings very refreshing!

forget the words just keep playing

Topas, homemade wine, best carrot cake of my life and fruit cake wonder, permenant marker table decor, first swedish natalie jean &daisy performance, happy birthday papa!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE and KARIN!!

We've been properly celebrating Karin's birthday all day, rolled out of bed and bused to Karin and Elin's to help the Icelandic beauties make a super special birthday breakfast of chocolate cupcakes and pink and green waffles, we stuck candles on everything and woke the birthdaygirl!

Yumm birthdays taste so good, the music started at 10 and hasn't stopped, dance party all day with the help of Topas , an icelandic liquorice liquor. A knitting break and second viewing of Harold&Muade, back to eating and shots now it's 3 and we are stumbling around getting ready for thrift shopping! Yeah! We all feel like it's our birthday , and the real party isn't even until tomorrow....

hungover from happiness...and homemade wine

Spent the day with the lovely Miss Öst yesterday going to my favorite thrift store to find sewing treasures, Joy!
Thank you Iceland for making great ladies... Karin and I met up with Elin and Lena for sushi, yogurt covered goodies, Bonnie&Cylde, Harold&Maude and homemade wine pour moi finally no schoolwork only hangovers.
Mymlan, the cupboard kitty, and I slept on the couch and dreamt of dancing.
Today my head is light but my belly is heavy
Wrote this to Stuart who sometimes thinks that people are from different planets


"in my home planet we were cradled in trees, pushed along by the wind like dandelion fluff to land and grow in red soil, called a weed and pulled out bleeding, but we are very durable and can flourish in many environments some think we are beautiful but many make us feel like we don't belong, the trees watch it all and still cradle us in times of need."

social interaction is good for the soul

Since returning from Paris last tuesday I have been sitting in a computer lab at school typing my fingers to the bone writing useless business papers and studying for exams. I was feeling a bit squeamish and so in preparation for my exam today I decided to take two hours prior to thinking to do some relaxing. I went to my regular cafe where I had a nice talk with the owner, who gave me a chocolate croissant for free, so nice. Then I went to the vintage store where Karin works to see my bella amiga with her new sassy red hair and catch up on life, sewing ideas and internet links. It made me feel so nice and human after feeling like aword processor for a week. The eaxm is done, next one wednesday then momentary relaxation!

posted mail email fusion

please walk the dog

Dear mom and Dad,
Please take the dog for a walk at dunk river, the trees will be nice and he will have a nice time in the water... maybe you can video it, you know he is awfully good without a leash there if there are no other cars parked by the trail then i think it would be okay
love Natalie

big dog, big stick , big breath of fresh air

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a canadian in paris ~part deux~

La nourriture a paris:
the small grocers/markets are so wonderful, each day we would go and buy items for supper , I cooked for the boys each night , but I am so used to cooking for one I felt like flavor was lacking nonetheless I served a strirfry with chantrelles, olive oil pasta dish with brischetta, curry and cous cous.. and a great green bean salad with tomotoes, carmalized onion and fig with balsalmic this was a cafe salad we witnessed but were too cheap to buy.
Fromage:
Dear french cheese , will you marry me?
nouveau jour nouveau cheese
I can't even remember the names! But I will never forget the flavors. We would eat these daily delights with the best baguettes that were so light it was like eating crunchy air , add a little 4 fruit jam... divine.
Mr.Pink wowed me with his culinary skills one night, for desert he cut fresh pears in half, drizzled them with honey and baked them adding brie at the end ! sooo good!
On my last night we had smoked salmon , baguettes and two cheeses with our green bean salad
Delicatessen
In order to fully experience Paris I forced myself to try different treats. These included pain au chocolate, a nutella crepe and a cheese crepe, and on night I stayed in when the boys went out to watch a rugby game I was alone though I had a tasty custard treat that was like creme brule but in a layered square way!
All this great food was accompanied with good times and cheap red wine
Vive France!
Noah had me bicycling everyday , on the velib rental bike system that exists in Paris, that was a good excuse to not feel guilty about treating myself so much
Since returning I have taken a break from Cheese and bread (spelt bread is an acception) I don't know how those french ladies stay so trim!

A Canadian in Paris~ part une~ Jean Fracois

Oh I enjoyed my Parisian trip so so much, just what a girl like me needs to do when school gets busy , hop on a train-plane- metro and find yourself in another world of boulangerie delights and magnificent sights.
I perfected a "new wake up at 5 am without an alarm clock" technique last Thursday night: at 1 am drink three glasses of water , take two to bed, drink them, get up and pee every hour fill up the glasses and drink again...it worked!!
I was awake and well hydrated for my 6:10 train.
Armed with my petit suitcase whom I now call Pierre, a day dress, a night dress and a Paulo Coleho book of short stories I began my journey...hopped a couple of trains , faded in and out of consciousness, and videotaped some of the journey the landscape is very Canadian.
I missed the bus to the airport so found two american students to split the cost of a cab. Skavasta airport is outside of Sweden small small, I initially sat with the americans but I had run out of conversation topics with them in the cab, so I looked around and found a new friend ,french artist Jean Francois Robardet.
It was a meant to be meeting I think, he was in Sweden curating an art exhibit which is opening next month, we talked about art and our love of Bergman's Seventh Seal, I told him about me being a mermaid and wanting to die at sea, he confessed he had just said the same thing to friends in Stockholm. He wants me to do a video called "I must die in the ocean" that he will put in one of his shows, ahhh he was so nice!
Our flight was delayed an hour so we ate together , I had a croissant and a glass of red wine I was in the french mood!
I had a priority boarding pass somehow, so I saved him a seat on the plane, we both dozed and I took video of the clouds, we took the bus into Paris together, I was so happy to see Paris and giggly he enjoyed my excitement, we went on a metro surprise trip to Champs d'Elysee where I walked up the metro stiars to see the arc de triumph so amazing , so many people.
We walked a bit down the luxury store streets and went into a famous perfume shop where he got the lady to spritz me with the the classiest perfume ....oh so romantic , thank goodness Jean Francois is gay or I would still be in Paris! He showed me how to get to Noah's on the Metro map, bought me a ticket and we parted ways , but I will see him again in November for his art opening.