Poem by Tanya Davis ~ the sweetest bee

there is a pumpkin petal
down the street
and she walks sidewalks so sweetly
people think
it must be friday
when it is actually monday
they think life is good
they smile for fashion that is art
and a woman who is real and magic
they are distracted from the gray of sidewalks

because she laughs like a girl who knows life is ok
she laughs, we laugh, too

Postcards to Sweden are ready to mail

I just got in from a pot luck at Laura's, I only brought a jar of olives... these were preceded by a can of stuffed grape leaves and followed by tim bits, popcorn, fries and a bottle of wine...luckily Laura, Dallin and Stacey made food of substance...all was delicious! 

I am still trying to settle in , oh dear it's almost been two months...settling is not in my nature but such good things are happening that I need to embrace. My job gets better and better each week, my boss is astounding, when we spoke of the future of the company her goals were not to get big and go public but to retain earnings and build a school. 

She shared some writing techniques with me and I now have a wonderful imaginary office.

I work at a driftwood desk in the sand in front of the ocean on an overcast day, there is a constant breeze which blows my hair from my eyes but not the paper off my desk and there is a black dog laying at my feet.  But it's never the same black dog . I wear my dad's aaron knit

 sweater and my mom's black tights.

This technique is working wonders and I've written a couple of short films plots.... now I just have to start writing more of the tv shows I'm paid to do. 

Last Tuesday was sunny so I had an adventure to Dartmouth on the ferry to go thrift store shopping, picked up some large blue and red vintage dresses to rework into shirts and shirts AND I bought an "icelandic" knit sweater that I pretty much wear everyday because Elin & Ragnar I love you! (Also Ragnar, knowing you still have Rosie brings so much joy into my life !)

 

I'm about to finish watching Tarkovsky's The Mirror.... dear me he is an amazing director , wind and rain have leading roles, and his use of color as well as black and white footage gives me goosebumps of happiness and consolidation.

this was a good weekend

this was a good weekend
a nice wrap up weekend to the month of January and precursor of my new life in old Halifax
what was so good about this weekend?

Well, Friday, Laura Dawe and Nathan had a party to celebrate their upcoming eviction.... they had about 5 musical performances in the living room , it was crazy SO MANY people.
I danced some, drew on the walls some and mostly hid in Laura's room acting as the unpaid bed coat finder with Romy. I want to do a stop motion animation of getting buried alive with winter coats.

Hit the market Saturday with Jason and Tanya...I got to wear a pair of Tanya's pants that I really liked...I was kinda hungover but the pants kept me happy.
Tanya and I went to the library and Steve-o's after and talked about libidos on the walk home...
I had a bath, Soooo happy to have a loving bath relationship again!
My highschool prom date moved to the city in September to do his Masters.
Last night I biked down to the south end to cook/visit/drink wine with him...it had been a long time, it was nice, I was impressed by his paintings and he was impressed that I was more anti-capitalist then him (for a business student that is)...
I asked him if he thought I sounded cynical or critical...
Critical just as I hoped!

This morning I woke up wondering who I thought I was drinking two nights in a row... but pleased at the fact I hadn't spent money on liquor.
I felt okay and had a nice scrambled egg breakie while sharing the National Post weekend edition with Holly (she just realized that she accidentally bought the NP instead of the Globe and Mail because a guy butted in line at the grocery store and distracted her)
...I scanned through three sections by the time Holly read half of hers....
I ventured over to Stacy /Paul/Maureen 's apartment for a noon meeting with Youth Club, so much to do with three upcoming cd releases and tour aspirations, I'm focusing on Distribution and Publicity, I feel very lucky to be able to help.
The most best good thing about this weekend was my 2 o'clock meeting with Jackie from BeCHert Productions....I now have a job! I think it just may be the job of my dreams...I will work three days a week utilizing the right side of my brain ... I Imagine things and then write about the imaginings....first project is a treatment for a childrens television show ..MAGICAL!
I will actually get paid to imagine things , it makes me teary with joy!
It is a new production company owned by one of the most amazing business ladies I know.
Oh my I am so happy!
I think i will be a self-sustaining woman , with a dog, someday!

today was cold

today was cold
I had omlette, pita, and salad for breakfast with Holly , Noah and Noah's friend ______ opps
I forget his name. I do know he studies business law and was right winged for policies and left for fiscal...
Tomorrow, Noah is leaving for 5 weeks in New Zealand...he will be missed, thankfully he is leaving me his nice big videocamera to remember him by. JOY!
I am altering a skirt for a girl I met while visiting Sojo at Elise's ( a great vintage shop).
Progress:
I need pink thread, I miss Sweden's corner sewing store
Thursdays are sewing days.
Half made are: - pin stripe Dad shirt into a skirt
-remodeled polka dot blouse
Darina came over to cut Noah and Holly's hair, we all compared winter bellies....it's okay we all get them!
I volunteered at the Yoga Loft tonight , they are having free classes this week for their anniversary, the classes were full...head to toe downward dogs.
Jason and I worked on music things tonight. The computer made me cranky, there was a lot of swearing ....much to the amusement of Papa Jason.

ordered disorder

these posts are hard to write when you don't know what to say cause you don't know what you are doing:

so quick synopsis of my life in Halifax

I sleep on couches, mostly at my old place it is the most comfortable, but also on Jason's futon and Laura's love seat

I sit in front computers, working for Jason with music stuff and reading a lot about Joni Mitchell during 1970, when she was writing the songs for her album Blue...

...then I imagine a movie

I also draw and imagine lots of clothing designs which three stores will sell if I make real clothes...I will do that big time in February...and for now on tuesdays and thursdays, those are also the two days I volunteer at the Yoga Loft... I sit by the door and read books on yoga and then I get a free class.

All in all my life is pretty great despite me having no money and a kink in my neck from Laura's love seat...though I will be happy when I have a real answer to "what are you doing?"

oh my!

I am back in my home country!
I am suffering from a loss for words in regards to how I feel about being home. I really haven't had too much time to stop and think but I will give a general overview.
England = Television, Nana time, British family time, three boys 11 months 18 months, 6 years, three pregnant cousins 4 months, 5 months, 6 months, forgetting to remind Nana I'm a vegetarian, carbohydrates, triominos, old photo albums, closets, scotch & stella, couch rests. Overall enjoyable it was my first time visiting my British family by myself, very low key and relaxing got to spend lots of quality time with my Nana, had a great walk with my cousin Rhys and his fam, and two great outings with my cousin Jane. I must say though the 10 days there felt longer then the 4 and some months in Sweden but I think it was because I was so anxious to get home.
My uncle john drove me to the airport we had a nice chat...
The plane ride was great I listened to the classical music station from headphones from my armrest and looked down on "cloudland". Cloudland is my absolute favorite thing about flying, I always request to sit by a window where I rest my head and imagine things , about clouds mostly, and the cloud people that I squint to try to get a glimpse of.
The classical music was mind blowing, I almost cried numerous times, the violin is the most human-like emotional instrument... it laments or fantasizes on its own and then is joined by other instruments to solve or get involved in problematic situations...sigh...it was magical.
Customs was not magical I was glad I didn't have anyone waiting cause it took forever , but at least someone got to see how well I packed my bags.... I splurged on a taxi to town and talked the ear off the cab driver it was nice because it had been awhile since I had talked to an arbitrary stranger. My east coast twang came back.

goodbye jönköping

Tonight is my last night in Jönköping, tomorrow I will take the train to Göteburg and have a nice couple of days there then fly to England on Wednesday for CHristmas with Nana et al.
I cannot believe that my time here is up, it's really been an interesting experience.
This past week was sooooo busy with group projects, it's scary how much group dynamics can affect ones happiness. One group stressed me out completely, more then I have felt stressed in years and years ...I almost threw a tantrum and refused to work in the same computer lab with them ....and I really am a nice person, it really brought out the worst in me!
The other group is so easy to work with and we laugh a lot ... this shows me that I better watch out who I work for/with in the future.

O future
what will you be?
what will you be?

Short term goals:
- Eat at the vegetarian restaurant in Göteburg
- See photo display at gallery with Åsa
- properly pronounce Åsa
- enjoy travel to England
- have a Merry Christmas , with all my prego cousins
- try to maintain vegetarianism during british feasts
- don't fret about unknown future
- arrive in Canada in time for New Years and celebrate with girlfriends!

Now I will go say goodbye to Sigrid, Matilda, Corina and Elin, my original hostesses, then I will my last bus ride to Huskvarna to pack up/throw up the contents of my apartment, then off to Elin and Karin's for one last sleepover !!

half a half a century

Best gift to get on my birthday , oh dear I have the best folks. ...Karin saw it and asked if it was mom and my brother...hehehehe...

Yesterday I woke up with my reoccuring neck pain ...symbolism for being 24 it was a pain in the neck! So I wasn't in the best moods , Karin cheered me up with pain killers and homemade waffles though! I decided it would be best to sleep at home because it's hard to sleep with a pain in the neck.. .Karin wished I would sleep over but I was stubborn ...I took the last bus home it's a connection bus, about a 45 minute ride ...where I started to write this song :

look on the bright side
my good friend once said
things may be bad but at least your not dead
go put on, button up your coat of red
go on go out for a walk
sun was a shining so I put on my shades
look on the bright side too long and it too may fade
started to feel glad for the good that I've got
glad you said to go out for a walk....

When I finally reached my house , I realized that I didn't have my keys in my pockets, or my bag, I had locked them in my apartment that morning! Oh dear! another symbol of 24 ....I locked my keys in sooo much! By this time it was around 11:40. I called Karin she told me when and where I could catch the next bus back to her place. I started walking the 30 minute walk to the stop, in a red coat I had borrowed from Karin. At first I felt the "why me's?" coming on but then I couldn't ignore the words I just had written so I happily walked through puddles with my rainboots.
I stopped on a little bridge over a little river that is next to an old sewing machine manufacturing museum built in 1914. The river is nicely , magically, lite up .... I looked down and watched the constant flow of the water, overcoming the rocky obstacles that were blocking its path. I was mesmerized by the water under the bridge, and then I looked up and saw how far it had come to get to that spot, drops and turns... there was no going back ... and that's where I had my birthday wish at the strike of 12, Elin called right after with her own wishes...she felt bad about me being locked out ...I couldn't have been happier ....sigh...life is magical!
I made it back to Karin's around 1, we made hard bread (crackers) with fun toppings, she put a candle in the butter! We watched tv on the computer, danced around the kitchen ..and went to bed around 3.....I dreamed about dogs and the first word in my head was music ...this will be my 25 year theme!

My name wonderful friend Åsa sent me this photo!!

Deer Cousin Sarah

I am so looking forward to going to PEI and hanging out avec you!
Yes we will have a jam session, a lot of songs I write could really use some bagpipe action!
We will also make something crafty together, I will make you a pink polka dot dress with bows because I know how much you love pink and dresses!
Kidding....but seriously we will craft, and I speak French....how long of a Christmas break do you have I wonder?
Maybe you will just have to miss some school to hang out with me ...your teacher will understand I'm sure!
Hope you are enjoying the first snow ! Miss You!

last week of being 24

I am celebrating my last week of being 24 by procrastinating on work , which was the theme of my twenty-four-year-oldness!

I feel like 25 is going to very productive.

I have never been upset about getting older, but this year I am a feeling a little reminiscent about the sweet innocent days of childhood, which I got a wonderful pictorial collage of from my momma and popsicle.
Adulthood is bittersweet, I cried when i looked all the photos of me growing up, and through those tears I was astounded at the great style I have had all my life!

I sure knew what to wear even at age three, so in celebration of being half a half a century old I will pursue clothing design even more and will recreate the masterpieces of my wardrobe evolution. And my brothers. And if anyone else wants a piece remade from ye old days of good send me a pic. natalie.slater@gmail.com

I will call the line : ye old days of good
pants will be outgrown looking grazing the ankles
soft cotton shirts, accessorized with random stains
party dresses
plastic jewelry from grandma jean's plastic jewelry boxes
socks with lace tops......i could go on forever

i will also pick up the harmonica again , it has been too long old friend

Deer Grandma Jean

Deer Grandma Jean,
I am very much looking forward to visiting you. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I will stop by and bring Daisy, you will tell me poems and I will try to play them. I don't have many of my own songs that are Grandma appropriate, and your poems are gems.
Then depending on our mood we can play scrabble, knit, or get something to eat. You can pick!
Then I'll ask you about special memories, and why you painted the house pink.
I really like the pink house and it means certain things to me , I wonder what it meant to you!
Have a great birthday
I love you ,
Natalie Jean

symbolisming

falafel breath

just got in from the craziest market next to my friend ragnar's apartment in gothenburg, it was an old army training grounds and now serves as a weekend market spot for vegetables and junk!

I arrived yesterday, I really enjoy trains, they are one of my favorite inventions.

Elin and Ragnar met me at the station and we went straight to my favorite vegetarian restaurant!Sooooooooo Happy! I might go there again tonight it is so cheap and glorious and i feel like i must research every flavour so I can start a restaurant just like it at home

Then we went to Liseberg an amusement park that turns very festive around christmas time, lights covering trees and little kiosks for cheese, nuts, sweets and meats and you can win a giant chocolate bar at the roulette table! I a a grinch but it was nice , until it really started raining a cold rain so i had to dance around to keep my feet warm. We met up with Karin and her wonderful friend Åsa had drinks at Ragnar's ...icelandic vodka very nice!

I like corners

Bi-Portrait
neat photos

Miss Communication

we've had a miscommunication
you must have got me all wrong
cause the way you are reacting
isn't what i had in mind

we've had a miscommunication
my words got twisted in some way
and what it is you heard
is not what i meant to say

i was trying to make things better
but I only made things worse
someone cover my mouth
don't let my hands write
every communication tactic i have is cursed

this song isn't about puppies
or a summer breeze on a winters day
it's about how you are missing
all the points i'm trying to make

i didn't mean that about your mother
i have never been your lovers lover
i'll watch what i say
you watch what you hear
then maybe we can see
what is sounding unclear

we've had a miscommunication
ask me and i'll tell you why
it's because your getting information
from another girl or another guy

we've had a miscommunication
i hope we can work it out
what's the use of communicating
if we miss what its about

* do you know what I'm trying to say?

Democracy & Desire

I did a last minute trip to Norrköping...I was back and forth with the staying or going...on account of not knowing if I had a place to stay and not having that much money...
But I woke up late and decided late, arrived late and went to bed late!!
It was worth every late minute!

I made my way in the dark to he museum where Jean Francois was at the entrance, he was so excited to see me and told me they had a place for me to stay, then he introduced me to everyone telling the story of how we met.

There were 9 artists displaying art, each was so different it was nice to see that. Jean Francois was so nice to tour me around and get the artists to tell me about their work ...his was amazing the written note is his it was the original titles for his pieces... he had a drawing of a red cat like person who he had seen in his room as a feverish child (desire), next he made a vertical horizon with the help of laser levels (nature ) and next he had a display where you had to move pieces around and add to it (work) ... the work display really made me feel like work does...do I have to??

Pauline Curnier Jardin delighted me with her video that she narrated along the way ...singing little made up songs... we are now friends...JOY
I was almost busting after her show with all that it meant to me...it was so silly but there were parts in the video (about a girl from France who moves to Finland alone) that were parts of my life here.....like when kids in a mask chase her around...this happened to me on Halloween!

After wine at the show some of us went dancing at some strange bars , we had the first dance floor to ourselves it was very interpretive!! So fun...we stayed with Andreas from Norrköpping and had a wonderful , stupendous brunch! Then I headed back to Jönköping, with some hungover transportation confusion... went straight to Karin's to watch Sideways (I can't believe I thought I liked that movie!) and Walk the Line (I can't believe I thought I wouldn't like that movie)
Woke up there on Sunday for another brunch care of Elin and her boyfriend Ragnar ....thin pancakes with assorted toppings sooooo nice!
I had an amazing weekend!

put your money where my mouth is

It is cold here, and there is some snow
I like to cold okay and snow ain't so bad
but i'm worried about the steep downhill slope to the bus stop
I only have boots with heels on them
I will look for a proper pair today at the thrift stores.

Not much on the ol' to do plate this week
some schoolwork...a book review gotta trace back to fourth grade for that
and I am going to have a rain adventure on Friday to see Jean-Francois's art opening
entitled "Private Parts" ....should be interesting....!

I got a job for the rest of my stay here!
Like most "jobs" in my life , I don't get paid
but i am going to help out my cafe lady during lunch (I should really ask her name!)
she will pay me with americanos and treats and lunch!
JOY!! That's gonna save me a nice lil' handful of money

Oh Karin and Elin just called to invite me over to play!

it's great to create!

I'm camping out at Karin's this weekend ! We are a creative army preparing our weapondry for the war against boredom. Armed with paint brushes, plaid fabric and thread and the battle cries of Patti Smith we are a strong troop!
Tummies full with rations of veggie pizza, medical supplies of banana chip/crunchy cereal/white chocolate being prepared we will be unstoppable!

my head is cold

Got myself a head cold, ye old sore throat sore head variety.
It pleases me though because now I have an excuse to sleep more, cure for cold...lots of sleep!
Sunday night I went to Karin's and we watched Dancer in the Dark , it made me cry and I very rarely shed a cinematic induced tear.
It's so funny the different "sighs" one makes after either watching a dreamy romantic movie or a dreary dark movie....
It was really beautiful though not too dreary, I found myself in a wonderful mood yesterday listening to the "music" that is happening everywhere, I woke up with the great idea to do a theater production of the movie, oh dear my ambitions are just getting a little out of hand, but i'm giving this one a 10 year happening period, so no rush!
Okay I gotta go to the library to do some reading because i don't want to buy my course books when they are readily available at yonder library.

I like november

Oh I spent the whole day in my apartment yesterday and didn't feel guilty at all, so nice.
It's a holiday weekend for celebrating the dead so nothing was open , no market for me!
I have been writing way too many song fragments and every attempt I have to finish any, I just end up with more fragments...but enjoyable nonetheless.
I have also been freestylin' these days...freestyle embroidery that is...I'm being subconsciously inspired by the wonderful Swedish needlework I see in the thrift shops...actually it's not subconscious if I know i'm being inspired by it ...right? oh dear...
finishing up books left and right, I read with a book in each hand, Last Unicorn so good, wrote beginning scene to the mythological movie while on a magical walk in the woods by my place
Read an interview with director David Lynch , whose last movie was shot on cheap digital cameras, very inspiring to see a major director accomplish something that I want to do ...paving the road
anyhoo I'm going to go for a walk about town , it is getting colder here but there are some milder days almost all the leaves have fallen but there are roses still out!

p.s. I don't really read with a book in each hand, someday though...someday